


Baby

by Semi_problematic



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Awkward Crush, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-02-01 14:53:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12707196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semi_problematic/pseuds/Semi_problematic
Summary: "Okay, class, today one of you is pregnant." The teacher stated as she clasped her hands together, a large smile on her wrinkled face.A boy in the back gasped. A boy named Richie. "But I'm only in eighth grade! This is going to ruin my life! What about my plans?! My parents?! Eddie, are you breaking up with me?!"Eddie sighed, dropping his pencil on his desk and rubbing his face. "Shut up, Richie, you're making a scene.""Good thing I'm a hell of an actor." Richie tugged on the sides of his jacket, crossing his arms. "Ain't that right, Eds."





	1. Day One

"Okay, class, today one of you is pregnant." The teacher stated as she clasped her hands together, a large smile on her wrinkled face.

A boy in the back gasped. A boy named Richie. "But I'm only in eighth grade! This is going to ruin my life! What about my plans?! My parents?! Eddie, are you breaking up with me?!" 

Eddie sighed, dropping his pencil on his desk and rubbing his face. "Shut up, Richie, you're making a scene."

"Good thing I'm a hell of an actor." Richie tugged on the sides of his jacket, crossing his arms. "Ain't that right, Eds."

"I hope you never have biological children." Eddie whispered, covering his face with his hands.

"Are we done, boys?" The teacher, Ms. Moore, asked. 

Eddie nodded. "I hope." 

"We are. Carry on." Richie grinned, stretching in his chair, his arms raised above his head. When he was done stretching he put one arm on the desk while the other laid across the back of Eddies chair.

"The High School decided to lend us a few of their robotic babies because using eggs.. ended badly." Ms. Moore shot a glare at the back of the class, a glare that was shot at Richie.

"Listen, Stan made me mad, he told me I wasn't a good dad."

Stan gasped from the front of the room. "You smashed an egg on my head?! That, right there, shows that you're a terrible father."

"And that's the reason why we're teaming up this time. Each of you will be paired up and given a baby. The baby will cry and it's your job to figure out what the baby needs and how to take care of it. You'll be given a bottle and diapers and anything else you could need." She lifted a box off of the ground that had small plastic limbs hanging out of it.

"That's the stuff of nightmares." Richie whispered, but it wasn't all that quiet.

Ms. Moore decided to ignore him, picking up the fake baby's and turning them on, one by one. "Stan and Bill, come and get your baby."

Bill stood up and walked over to the desk, picking it up and holding it by it's arm. "So how long do we keep this thing?"

"A week." She replied, handing out another baby to the two girls that sar next to Bill and Stan. "And be careful! We can tell when the baby is being mishandled."

Stan sighed, grabbing the baby from Bill, holding it close to his chest. "You're gonna kill it!" 

"Y-you just snatched a baby from m-me but I'm the o-on-one killing it?" Bill sat down at his desk and hovered over Stans shoulder. "It's kinda creepy."

"Can you tell when you insult the baby?" Stan asked.

The teacher laughed. "No, but I think if you're nicer to it and stay calm it'll be easier to deal with it when its mad.  Lukas and Matti!" She called.

Lukas stood up, opening his arms. "Throw it!" 

"Lukas Adams I am not throwing this. Get up here right now!" 

Matti sighed, playing with her pony tail.

"Adam and Jessica." 

The two walked up and picked up the baby as if it was a real one.

"Mary and Alex." 

Alex stood up and walked up to the desk, laughing to himself when he saw the baby's eyes closed and opened depending on which way you tilted it. Mary scolded him almost immediately for "tossing him around."

"Ben and Beverly." The teacher called.

Ben got out of his seat so fast he almost fell, walking up to the front of the classroom and picking up the baby, cradling it softly in his arms. "Hi, baby."

"I hate kids." Beverly groaned. "This is gonna be hell."

"Language." The teacher mutteted before calling another set of girls up, then a set of boys, Then one girl and one boy. "Eddie and Richie." She held up the last baby, holding it out from her chest.

Richie stood up but Eddie put his hand out in front of him. "I'll get our baby." Eddie walked down the row of desks and picked up the baby from the teachers arms. He held it close to his chest with one hand as he walked back to his desk. He sat down and sat the baby down on the desk, sighing when Richie picked it up.

"We should set it on fire. Watch it melt and look at the insides." Richie lifted it up above his head, grinning.

Eddie snatched the kid away from him, glaring. "You're such a serial killer." 

"I'm not a serial killer. My science teacher just says I'm curious." He crossed his arms, a small pout playing on his lips.

"You're a killer and you aren't allowed to take care of this baby." Eddie held the baby close to his chest once more, wrapping both of his arms around it's torso. 

"Okay. So, the one week begins now. By the end of it we'll open up the baby and look to see how many times it cried, how long it cried, how many times it was handled the wrong way and got hurt, and how many times it was left hungry or thirsty."  She leaned back against her desk. "On your way out pick up one of these small bags. It should have everything you need and more. Good luck." 

"Dude! Do you think she'll let me open our baby up?" Richie asked excitedly, looking between Eddie and the baby.

Eddie rolled his eyes. "No, because she has common sense and because you just said you wanted to set it on fire."

"Stop." Richie mumbled, cupping his hands over the ears of the baby. "I don't want him hearing his dad's fighting."

"As if I would ever have a kid with you."

"Yeah." Stan called. "He knows how to love himself."

Eddie smiled. "Exactly." He pushed Richies hands away. "Now back off. I wanna get an A on this."

"Give me the baby or else I'll tell her you're doing all the work yourself instead of sharing."

Eddie glared at him for a few seconds before handing the baby to Richie. "No shaking. No throwing. No tossing. Hold it like it's a human being."

"I know, I know, you act like I'm a barbarian." Richie waved him off, holding the toy baby to his chest. "He's cute. We need to name him."

"Why?" 

"Because I'm not gonna call my child 'baby' for a week." Richie stopped rocking the baby and looked down at it. "How about we name it.. Eddies mom.. oh wait, she's the real mother. Maybe Eddie junior." 

"I'm gonna kill you." Eddie sighed. "You aren't even funny."

"You're right. I'm hilarious." Richie leaned back against his chair. "How about Charlie?"

"No."

"Ethan?"

"Ew."

"Dylan?"

"No." Eddie groaned. "We should be worried about taking care of the baby, not naming it."

"I'm naming it Eds." Richie grinned, starting to rock the baby back and forth in his arms.

"Bite me, Richard."

"Gladly." Richie bit the air. "Didn't know you were so kinky." 

Eddie slapped him in the arm, putting his head down on the desk

"Hey! Be gentle! I'm holding our son."

"I feel so bad for whoever ends up marrying you."

Richie pouted, flipping him off underneath the desk.

"And you hold our baby with those hands." Eddie gasped.

The bell rang loud throughout the room and everyone grabbed their bags, walking ou of the room as fast as they could. Beverly was already standing up and distancing herself from Ben and the robot baby he was holding. Bill and Stan, however, were cooing and grinning over the baby in Stans arms like it was a real thing.

"How are they getting along so well?" Ben asked, holding the baby in one hand as he pulled his backpack on.

"Its like they're married or something." Beverly grinned, walking towards them. "Why wasn't I invited to the wedding, boys?" 

Bills cheeks flushed pink. "Well, w-we only became o-official yesterday." 

Stan gasped, picking Bill in the leg. "I thought we were keeping it a secret."

"Oh my god. Stan the man finally made a move!" 

"Shut up, Richie, or else that baby is gonna go where the sun don't shine." Stan muttered, putting his hand on Bills arm. 

Beverly frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. "Why didn't you tell us?" 

Stan rubbed the back of his neck. "I didn't want everyone finding out.. it would make stuff harder on Bill and he doesn't deserve it." He forced a smile. "Plus I knew Richie would make a million shit jokes." 

Bill smiled at Stan and kissed his cheek. "And I-I didn't kn-know how my parents w-would react."

Eddie smiled. "Yeah.. well.. you two are cute." He walked over and wrapped an arm around Bills shoulder. "I get the parent thing. My mom thinks it's a disease." 

"Bev and I had a bet." Richie grinned. "I owe her ten bucks but I think she cheated."

"You never said no cheating." Beverly pointed out. "But I didn't cheat. I'm just smarter than you, Tozier."

"You guys are horrible." Ben laughed. "But yeah, we love you and.. you guys are cute.. can I say that?" 

Bill smiled, looking down at his feet. "Yeah, you can."

Stan leaned down and kissed his cheek, rubbing his arm with his thumb. "Let's get to lunch." He grabbed both of their backpacks and walked out of the room while Bill carried the baby. Ben followed them out, keeping his hand tight on the babys back.

Beverly grabbed her backpack and pulled it on, playing with the straps. "They deserve each other. It was getting annoying to watch all the pining." 

Richie nodded. "Yeah, it was so dumb. If you like someone just make a move." 

Beverly rolled her eyes. "Really? You think you have the right to say that?" She raised an eyebrow. "Last time I checked you haven't told the person you like that you wanna date."

Richie glared, walking towards her. "Shut up." His cheeks were pink.

"I feel bad for whoever Richie likes." Eddie teased, grabbing his own backpack and then handing Richies his own. 

"So you feel bad for yourse-" Beverly was cut off when Richie put a hand over her mouth.

"What she was saying was that you'll feel bad for yourself if you don't get to lunch and get the pizza they're serving." Richie babbled.

"I don't eat school lunches.." Eddie looked Beverly and Richie up and down before nodding. "But I'm gonna go." He turned around and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

Beverly pushed Richies hand away. "Dude, he's gonna find out eventually, you aren't exactly secretive you call him cute all the time."

Richie glared at her. "He doesn't know that that's flirting, alright? He just thinks it's a friend thing."

"Is he that oblivious?" Beverly walked towards the door, looking at her nails, picking at the polish on one finger. 

"Yeah, and I wanna keep it that way. So shut it." Richie muttered, pulling his backpack on.

"Fine. Have it your way." Beverly grinned. "But I think that little robot devil is gonna make you admit it." She winked.

Richie scoffed. "Whatever." He slid his hand up and down the strap of his backpack. "I don't wanna lose him."

"You? Losing Richie?" Beverly laughed. "Impossible. You're just chicken."

"Am not!" Richie called, looking down so his hair hid his face. He hoped she didn't see his blush.


	2. Day Two

Monday night Eddie had decided that he would take the baby home. He said that if he let Richie keep it the baby would come back with drawing all over it and missing a limb. Richie laughed, mostly because it was true but also because Eddie knew him that well. Eddie hadn't really let Richie hold the baby the rest of the day, either. He was convinced Richie would jerk it around or drop it and ruin their grade. Again, he wasn't wrong. According to Eddie, the baby only cried five times, once during his English test and once in the middle of the night. The other times were because it was hungry or needed it's diaper changed. Richie was glad Eddie took care of that, robot baby or not, diapers were gross.

That Tuesday morning Eddie walked into school, fanny packs clinging to his hips, his backpack hanging loosely off his back and a small robot baby in his arms. He held it close to his chest as if it was a real baby and the baby even had new clothes on. 

"Attention everyone! Robo baby is coming through!" Richie began to shout, standing up from the table he had been sitting at with the rest of the Losers. "Robo baby is here! Make way for Robo baby!"

Eddie flipped him off with one hand while the other kept the baby against his chest.

Richie gasped dramatically and fell back against his seat. "You hold our baby with those hands! I can't believe it! That's terrible! Those foul, dirty hands, touching MY chil-"

Eddie slammed the baby against Richies head. The baby began to wail and cry. Eddie shushed it and kissed it's head, rocking the baby in his arms.

"You probaly just damaged your grade." Ben mumbled.

Stan nodded. "Yeah. It was probably lowered at least a letter."

Eddie looked between the crying robot and Richie, who was rubbing his head where Eddue hit. Eddie shrugged. "Worth it."

"How w-was your first n-night with the baby?" Bill asked. He was holding the baby while Stan flipped through the pages of the text book.

"She was calm. Only cried like five times." Eddie looked down at the baby and smiled.

"I would cry if Eddie was my dad." Richie grinned, elbowing Eddie in the side.

Eddie stuck his tongue out at Richie and sat down at the table. "So.. has anyone killed their baby, yet?"

"I almost did. I dropped it while cooking." Beverly rubbed the back of her neck. "Ben is gonna take care of it now."

"That's a baby." Stan muttered without looking up from his text book. "Not an It. Give them a name or a pronoun at least." 

"Name it Robo baby." Richie leaned against the table. "You could call him Rob for short, it'll be great." 

Beverly smiled at Richie. "Thanks, I hate."

"Bev.." Ben trailed off. "Be nice. He's the uncle."

"The crazy uncle." Eddie muttered.

Richie slapped the back of his head. "The fun uncle."

"You mean, the uncle that'll probably leave him at a supermarket." Beverly whispered under her breath. She ran her fingers through her hair and smiled at Richie.

"Suck my dick, Ed Sheeran." Richie mumbled.

Bill choked on his milk. "Richie!" 

"Not around the baby!" Stan shouted, taking the baby from Bill.

"Please don't tell my girlfriend to suck your dick." Ben muttered. "At least wait til we're married so I have no competition."

Beverly rolled her eyes. "Don't worry." She smirked at Richie, winking at him. "He's got the hots for Edd-" 

"Edward Scissor Hands!" Richie grinned, taking a piece of poptart off of Bills tray and stuffing it into Beverlys mouth. He smiled awkwardly at the group.

"I think w-we need to go." Bill mumbled, kissing Stans head. "I can finish my poptart upstairs." 

Stan nodded, closing his book and stuffing it into his backpack, standing up. "I'll keep the baby." He smiled, standing up on his toes and kissing Bills cheek.

"Faggots!" Henry yelled as he walked past the table, shoving Bill over it. 

Bill pushed himself up and screamed, "H-hey! A-asshole!" 

"Hey! Fuckhead!" Beverly screamed. "Who gave you the ri-" 

Eddie cut him off. "Do you wanna fucking die!" 

"You fucking asshole! Let's fucking go!" Richie slammed his feet on the ground and began to rush towards Henry, his hands curling into fists.

"No." Stan mumbled. "Stop." Stan turned slowly towards Bill, smiling. He handed him the baby. "Hold her, okay?"

Bill nodded, his eyebrows furrowed. "What?" 

"I got this." Stan slipped his backpack off and fixed his shirt, tucking it in all the way around.

"Oh no!" Henry screamed in a high pitched voice. "What are you gonna do? Clean me to death? Straighten my painting?" 

Stan was nose to nose to him. "No," he smiled. "But I'll straighten you out."

Henry smiled down at him. "Oh, reall-" He grunted when Stans fist slammed into his stomach. He hunched over, his hands clutching his shirt. Stan placed both of his hands on his shoulders and shoved him back on the ground.

Stan fixed his shirt once more before walking over to Bill and taking the baby. "I'll see you in class. Good luck. Richie, don't kill the baby." He shot a glanced at Bev. "Beverly, try and be sweet to it."

Everyone was silent as Stan and Bill walked away, their eyes wide and their mouths dry. 

"Did everyone else see that?" Ben asked, grabbing his backpack and pulling it on.

"You mean finally seeing Stan kick ass?" Beverly announced a little too loud. It was obvious she was proud. "I've been waiting for this day to come. I always knew that boy could do it."

"Yeah, Stan is kinda scary when hes mad." Eddies eyes were on Henry who pushed himself off the floor and went into the boys bathroom. "I didn't know he could kick someone's ass so.. confidently."

"It's hard not to be confident when you look like an angel." Richie added. "He's gorgeous and badass. Bill really has the whole package."

Bev nodded. "I hope they stay together forever. They make each other so happy.."

"I mean, if Stan ends up being single I won't be mad." He winked, elbowing Beverly.

Eddies face fell. His eyes were sad and his head was facing the floor. "I'm gonna go." He mumbled, turning around and walking towards the stairs before anyone could stop him.

"I'm gonna get to class." Ben smiled, kissing Beverlys cheek. "Bye."

Beverly smiled. "Bye, handsome." She waited for Ben to be gone before slapping Richie in the back of the head.

"Ow!" Richie screamed, rubbing the back of his head. "What the fuck?!"

"I should be asking you that, Richie!" Beverly shouted. "What! The! Fuck!" 

"I dont know what you're talking about! What did I do!?"

"Make your whole crush situation a million times harder!" She rubbed her temples. "Did you not see how sad Eddie got when you complimented Stan?"

Richie popped the collar of his shirt. "I was making him jealous! That way he wants me more!" 

"Good, god." Beverly shook her head. "This is gonna be a lot of work."

-

Eddie sat quietly in the back of their classroom, the baby sitting down next to him on the desk. Beverly shoved Richie through the doorway.

"Go!" She whisper yelled. "Fix it!" 

Richie swatted her hands away and walked towards Eddie, smiling. "Hey.."

Eddie didn't look at him. "Hi."

"You look good today.. I really like the.. color blue on you." Richie glanced at Beverly who was giving him two thumbs up. "Blue really.. uh...compliments you."

A smile spread across Eddies face, a smile so wide it almost looked painful. "Really?" 

Richie nodded. "Yeah.. really."

Eddie grinned, reaching out and running his hand down Richies arm. "I really like your shirt. It's nice.." 

Richie knew it was a lie but he couldn't stop himself from blushing. "Thanks, Eds." He tried to play off the compliment, ruffling Eddies hair.

"No!" Eddie shouted. "Don't call me that." 

Richie laughed. "I can't help it, Eds, you're too cute and you need a too cute nickname to match!" 

"I hate you, Richie." Eddie huffed as he crossed his arms. He began to pout.

Richie wrapped an arm around Eddie. "I know."


End file.
